Heartbreaks Don't Break Even....

They don't.  Someone is always more involved than the other person which indeed cause's more hurt and pain.

How do you know when you have truly had "enough"...... 
This is something I am struggling with, some day's are easy, however other days I cry and feel miserable.
I don't want to give-up, but I have to be true to myself, my wants and needs as well.
I am the type of woman who puts 100% into a relationship and I do everything I can to make the relationship successful.  If it ends I want to be able to walk away and say "this was not on me, I did what I had to do"....

This and That.....

Here I am again rattling off thoughts in my head.  I had a good workout today, my trainer is turning up the "heat" because I have hit a plateau.  I actually enjoy getting my butt kicked and I think he mutually enjoys kicking it!!!
I swear this has been a long week.  Work has been slow and I always stick to a schedule when it comes to my everyday life but 2 nights this week I didn't get to bed until after midnight which has caused me to be a bit bitchy as well as tired. 
I do feel a bit more domestic this week.  My poor dog got fleas and besides being completely disgusted and upset I will admit I kicked those flea's butt and I think they are gone but I will continue to be on top of things and do all I can to prevent this in the future.  I do not like bugs, it is totally something a man should deal with not this girly girl.  I'm just sayin!!
So a contractor that does work with my company offered to put up a new fence in my backyard at a very low cost like last September.  I have gone back and forth with him behind this fence.  Earlier his week he told me that he bought the wood and I will be tanning by Saturday.  I am thinking, yeah whatever I will believe it when I see it.  This afternoon I got a phone call from a co-worker that works with this contractor confirming my address because he said a crew will be at my house tomorrow putting up the fence.  I was completely flabbergasted when I got this call and I kinda believe that this may be it!!!
I will be stoked!  So keep your fingers crossed.

I have been looking into purchasing patio furniture.  I bought a grill last week so I am ready to make an outside space to relax and have get together.  I had no idea how expensive outdoor furniture is. I mean really $700-$800....Whoa Nelly....  I am thinking about looking on Craigslist or Ikea.
I am going to keep looking until I find exactly what I want and at a decent price.  There are so many things I want for the house it's kinda comical to me! ;)

I have missed Michael so much lately... time has passed and time is ticking, It's been about 4 months today.  I don't know what the future holds but I know I deeply care about this man and want to spend more time with him, however please believe that there is an expiration date!!!

The weekend is near and I will be busy.  I stay busy and on a schedule just keeping myself in check!  However I def feel like getting out of my box this weekend and doing something out of the norm for me.  Any ideas??

RaNdOm ThOuGhTs

When I started this blog I wanted to write at least a few times a week.... well it's been 5 days.  Blogging is a healthy release of thoughts for me however it is also another thing I have added on my never ending "to do" list.
I found out today that my dog Grayce has flea's and I cannot explain the sadness and disgust that I am experiencing right now.  Considering it is almost midnight and the only thing I was able to do about it right now was bathe her in hot soapy water, clean her bed and put fresh linens in her bed.  I feel guilty, like a horrible parent.  Her skin is very sensitive but I assumed her skin was dry and itchy due to the weather changes.  I had my sister and brother in law look at her a few weeks ago and felt better when they agreed it was not flea's.  When I got home tonight I was playing with her and saw fleas, a few and like a normal momma I freaked out and immediately went to Google.  She will be at the vet tomorrow to get rid of this while I contract a pest control to service my home and lawn to prevent this in the future.  My poor baby.  ;(

On another note.....
I was given a pic of my sister, brother and I from Dec 29th, 2009 today from my Mema  I thought I was going to pass out.  I had no idea how much weight I had gained!  I looked swollen and just big!  I have lost 40+ lbs since then and my sister assures me that I am smaller than she has seen me in a long time.  I felt  so angry when I saw that picture.  I don't know who that person is, I see a lonely, sad woman that started to give up.  I am so thankful to the Lord, my trainer, my friends and family for all of the support and motivation they have provided me.  I am so thankful that God has given me the strength and courage to push past my fears and test my physical limits.  I am finally becoming the woman I knew I was and always wanted to be.  I hung the picture on my refrigerator as a daily reminder that I must stay in control of my life, what I eat and my workouts.  Life is all about choices and depending on the choice you make will determine your future.
I still want to lose another 40-50 lbs and I look forward to meeting that goal and the challenges that I will face to get there.  I can say that now I believe in myself and I want this more than I have ever wanted anything, and to be in control of my life is the best feeling.  Never give up on yourself, your hopes, dreams or goals.  You have to make wise choices, set realistic goals, stay positive, surround yourself with people that love you and will support you and motivate you and just be the best you can be one day at a time.
Below are pictures from about a week ago. My legs are really leaning out!

There are so many things roaming through  my mind right now.  I am not only ADHD but I am very analytical so I am always thinking, usually too much!  I bought a grill this past weekend and this house really feels like a home.  One thing I have realized lately is that God is working so hard in my life.  I am in awwhhh of the things he has provided me with.  There are days I get so upset that I am not with the man I want to be with right now, but I understand I am right where God wants me and I am at peace with that.  I am so blessed to be where I am, and I have to constantly remind myself of that.  I do not know what the future holds for me or what His plan is but I am letting go of trying to make things happen.  God has a purpose for me and His plans for me are so amazing that I cannot even fathom.  I don't know where you are in your life but I pray that you find peace in your life.  Let go of trying to control everything and everyone around you.  I am not going to worry my life away. Life is too short, so give thanks and make the best of what you have.

Thats all for now!     Ta-Ta xoxo- Laura

Reason #223 - A Husband Could Be Handy These Days!

I purchased my 1st house last August.  It has been a wonderful experience and I am thankful that I am able to be a home owner.  However lately I have come to realize that being a single woman in a home has it's perks as well as downfalls.  I definitely thought that I would be married by 30, but God has different plans for me and I have come to terms with that.  Actually I am very handy for a woman.  I have a drill and a ton of tools that I know how to use.  I can hang a chandelier, change out electrical outlets (not the cover but the outlet), I can make and hang drapes, paint, mow the lawn, dig a hole to plant a bush etc.... You get the point.  I am always up for a challenge and capable of many things.  Lately I have run into a few issues that require a husband or at least a hot handy-man!!  For instance my garbage disposal is broken, and yes I have the tool to turn the motor but apparently the motor is burnt out.  I just don't use it, but would like to.  The front and back of the house need to have motion lights installed for security issues.  My sister & her hubby gave me a new light fixture for the bathroom for my birthday last November... yet it's still in the box.  Then there is the wallpaper I want to hang on a wall in my bedroom still in the box!
I have this list and I can't seem to get some of the smallest projects done.
Shout out to my mom & Mark (dad) they have been so supportive and have put in hours of work into my home, but there is always more.
Obviously I want to be a mommy & a wifey but right now it's just me and my dog, Grayce.
Now that I have written this I am starting to realize that I should probably use google and teach myself how to complete a few of these projects.  I till think it would be much better to make a "honey-do" list though!     ; )

Live & Breathe Fitness.....

As most of you know I am on my A-Game right now in the gym.  I have lost almost 40 lbs, and I am halfway to my goal.  I cannot explain how rewarding all of the blood, sweat and tears is but I am addicted and love it.
I workout 6-7 days a week and do a 2-a-day at least once a week.  My workouts consist of boxing, HITT (High Intensity Training), Swimming, Cardio, Lifting Weights, Plyometrics, etc.... I workout with my long time friend and trainer 2-3x a week.  Working out is amazing to me, because after I was hit by a drunk driver 4 years ago I wasn't sure I would ever be able to workout at the intensity that I do now.  God has worked miracles in my life and I am so thankful to have a strong body and mind that allows me to consistently push myself each day.  I went to Cooper Fitness to become a personal triner however I don't train people anymore.  Alex keeps me on my toes, he pushes me to the limit and keeps me accountable while motivating me.  I don't know where you are in your life but I encourage you to workout and eat healthy. 
It's not all about losing weight.  It is about feeling fit and healthy and being a better person.  XOXO -L

My trainer & friend - Alex Pena

   I Love the Agility Ladder!!!            Egg Whites & Oats for Breakfast!                              

SWEAT & MUSCLES ARE SEXY!!         GOAL

One with the water...........

I have started to swim again.  When I was younger I was on a swim team.  I still remember going to my first meet and diving before the gun sounded and got a yellow slip and was disqualified.  I have added swimming laps into my workout routine at least 2x a week.  Let me tell you,  it is tough!  I love being in the water, I have no pain and I feel so free.... I feel "One with the water".  It relaxes me like yoga relaxes people.  I usually do the breast-stroke, back-stroke, freestyle and  run in the water!!!  I encourage you to add swimming to your workout routine!  I am halfway to my goal so I am changing things up a bit so I don't slam into a plateau.  I swim for 30-40 minutes, then just like I do  after every workout I spend 10-15 minutes in the steam room.  The steam room is amazing. I posted a link below so you can understnad the benefits of the steam room!

http://www.wisegeek.com/what-health-benefits-come-from-using-a-steam-room.htm

Sushi & Sake

I have been told by many that I need to get out of my "box".  My trainer and good friend Alex and I went to Blue Fish Friday night along with his family and a friend.  I have had sushi once before from Whole Foods, but apparently Blue Fish has some of the best Sushi around Dallas.
It was AMAZING!!!

Alex took it upon himslef to order just about everything!!!  My favorite was raw salmon, Hawaiian Sushi roll, The Las Vegas roll and the Rock Manhattan roll.  So good!  I also tried sake for the 1st time and for "desert" we had Sake bombs!!!!!!

I had such a fun time.  Blue Fish is awesome and has such a cool ambiance that it made the whole experience well worth it.  I cannot wait to go back again.  I can offically say that I love Sushi!!!!

When The Sun Goes Down...

Sun is setting, windows down, country music playing.... thinking of that country boy and his big white truck....... a.m.a.z.i.n.g

Have you ever had that moment when you met someone and that person actually "effects" you, actually "moves" you to "want" to be a better person. Someone who see's you for all that you are and understands how special, worthy and unique you are, and that alone... just being yourself is a turn on to him... How would that affect you? I have come to realize you truly cannot judge one's decisions if you haven't been in that exact same circumstance. More than likely we cannot fully understand why one may choose to do this or that, regardless of the choice, what matters is that they are making a choice for themselves and choosing their own happiness.
Happiness comes in all shapes and forms, it happens during circumstances and drama, Happiness is unpredictable.
I have been dealing with this "feeling" for a few months and it is
the most remarkable feeling of real love I have ever experienced in my life.

Things don't always happen when we want them to, and I know that I am on God's time. When timing is off, does that mean that the relationship is "not meant to be" ? Did God put that person in your life solely for a reason without making memories together? I ask myself this & how should a person go about the amount of time they invest in someone during a circumstance or a situation that has a outcome that is "unknown".

I am very analytical so the only way I can mentally & emotionally do this is because I feel something. Sometimes you just know but how much is too much? Time isn't always on your side..... but in time I believe in following my heart and trusting my faith in Christ.

Bare Feet or Flip Flops

 Have you ever been in a sauna or steam room? I use the steam room almost every day after I workout and I am amazed at how many people walk around bare foot.... I am so grossed out by this, I think of all the mold and germs that are probably growing in these hot humid rooms, and I don't understand why people don't wear flip-flops?  As I am getting older I realize I am weird about so many things, especially germs.  So please protect yourself!!!!! :)

1st Blog..... Where do I start.